Summers Coming, hot dogs will be sizzling, Sayquan will get shot (Again), Te'Te' will be sporting a new set of silver teeth courtesy of the baby bottle filled with Kool-aid, and everyone will only be able to afford half a tank of gas at a time. While all of this magnificence is going on the biggest crime known to man will slip by again with not so much as a citation. What is this godawful crime you ask? MANDALS (Man Sandals), this does not include flip flops! So all of you nervous flip flop brothers can calm down, you have been excused. However, traffic cops beware of the alligator strap up sandals. You will see them at every cookout, concert, and shopping mall near you. Women, I know you try to be supportive, but its time to stop playing games with your man.
There are various types of Mandals:
1. The Infamous Jesus Sandal- I blame white folks for this one just like slavery. We were doing alright until they introduced the Jesus Sandal. Who would do such a thing. Now the brotha's think its fine to glide down the street, showing off all the bumps and lumps that you know as his feet.
2. The Mule- Ladies if your man has a pair of these they were specially ordered and you should check to see if he is really into you the way he says he is. When this shoe was invinted it was strictly for the ladies. Why any man would want a shoe with the back out and a little heel on it, is besides me.
3. The Flat N' Strappy- This is the one I hate the most. You wanna tick me off, just show up with this shoe on and see what happens. I double dare ya!
4. The Flip Flop- The best Mandal of them all. You are able to preserve your sexy and your manhood with this shoe. And I understand that its summer and your feet are hot and need to breathe.
I blame one Brotha for all of this Mandal Mania: None other than Mr. Mandal himself BLAIR UNDERWOOD!
The Blair Underwood look is outdated and overrated. Don't know what the Blair Underwood look is, I'll Tell you! One ultra flowy, white, or cream colored thin cotton beach shirt (rolled up at the wrist), one pair of eggshell linen pants rolled up at the ankle. And to complete this beachykeen look,.....duh,duh,duh.........MANDALS! This is nothing to be excited about! Blair has a perm, why on earth would you take fashion advice from him.
The next time your man even looks like he might be thinking about purchasing a pair of Mandals, find your sharpest pair of stilettos and stomp all over his toes. If there are a pair of Mandals that I left off the list please feel free to let me know. Oh trust and believe, they will be added promptly. Dont want to leave any off before there is a violation of the Summer Fashion Code of Conduct.
4 comments:
Thanks to Anthology and his recent nuptuals I have my first pair of mandals since elementary.
And men don't forget to get a pedicure if ur going to be rocking Mandals. That rule applies to all of us. (u probably need it more than I do anyway) However, I've decided that Mandals are a generational thing. While I don't support it 100%, I do let it slide when a man over 40 has on Mandals. Its what they do.
DCMEEK I will let you slide because when you are in a wedding you dont really have a say in the wardrobe. I will give Anthology his citation when I see him. Oh, and dont forget to trash the MANDALS!
Chiffaun05- You have a point. However since 40 is the new 30, maybe we should up the ante and say the 60 and older crowd is safe to wear Mandals. I don't want to give Morris Chestnut any ideas. He looks like he might be on the verge of purchasing Mandals.
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