I am sure by now that you've all read or saw on the news information regarding the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) in Texas. Any religious group with a name this long is definitely up to something. Before I make any offensive statements let me say, I've been to Salt Lake City, UT, and thought I had a clear view of what these people were all about. From my experience they were very nice, keep an extremely clean city, they kind of talked like robots, but they weren't a part of polygamous marriages. Well clearly there is a group of Mormons that have vacated the premises and moved to Texas and are holding a different kind of church service. When I saw the news I said to myself "What the hell?" Take me higher, lord!
The worst of this travesty is the old men sleeping with the young girls. I don't know who I want to slap the most, the old perv's or the parents of these girls. I would like to meet these men because I would love to greet them with a Karate Kid style kick to the nuts. When they arrested the leader of this group, why didn't the officials arrest the rest of these men? These people were living at the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Texas. First Give Away that something is wrong. I don't know about you, but I have never used YEARNING and ZION in the same sentence. As a matter of fact the only time I use Yearning is when I am singing along with Charlie Wilson "My heart is YEARNING for your love!" I'm almost certain the men at this facility were using the term in the same way as the Gap Band.
The Amish must really feel good about themselves right now, because they are far more technologically advanced than this group. These people were like something out of a time capsule, especially the women and young girls. Lets start with the most obvious: The Hair! Everyone of them looks like they have a croissant or bundt cake on top of their heads. Then to further make me throw up this cornucopia was accented by some of the longest horsey braids I have ever seen. Its not natural to have hair that long, unless you are trying to hold down a spot in the Guinness Book of World Record. But......I digress! Moving on to the next breathtaking view: Those darn getup's! They have little house on the Prairie Dresses and not one of them owns a pair of pants. Do they know that pants are what liberated women. Those dresses were long sleeved and cassinett material (strait out of slave days). Just stop and think about this for a minute, they are in Texas. Its a wonder they didn't faint when they were released from the compound into the burning Texas Sun. The government should definitely donate shorts and swim suits to this bunch.
Finally lets focus on the beauty part of it: Unibrow, facial hair, no make up.
1. Of all the women that they took from that ranch, did they have to interview Unibrow Eunice? Her Unibrown just irritated the mess out of me. It was messing with my mental psyche, kind of like a creepy character out of an Austin Powers movie! What lowdown, dirty, scoundrel, snake in the grass, hath lain down with this woman? He's Nasty!
2. Some of these women also had facial hair. We have come too far, and I will offer up complimentary waxing to the whole cult.
3. No make-up in 2008 is a sin. Your most natural beauty will slide on lip gloss and a little shadow or liner. Why these old, manly looking, wildebeest think they are the exception is beyond me.
The Compound
The facility where these people were staying was scary. They were staying in Dorms and eating in a Cafeteria. Its like lifelong college, except you don't graduate. There were so many bunk beds in that place it look like an orphanage. What got me is that there were some bunk beds with three tiers. That is new to me. Never seen anything like it. What's worse is the weirdo parents had the nerve to have a full size bed in the same room. Please tell me they weren't doing their yearning in front of the kids. Gross
These women have been brainwashed, and its very sad. However I am willing to bet they make a mean dinner.
The worst of this travesty is the old men sleeping with the young girls. I don't know who I want to slap the most, the old perv's or the parents of these girls. I would like to meet these men because I would love to greet them with a Karate Kid style kick to the nuts. When they arrested the leader of this group, why didn't the officials arrest the rest of these men? These people were living at the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Texas. First Give Away that something is wrong. I don't know about you, but I have never used YEARNING and ZION in the same sentence. As a matter of fact the only time I use Yearning is when I am singing along with Charlie Wilson "My heart is YEARNING for your love!" I'm almost certain the men at this facility were using the term in the same way as the Gap Band.
The Amish must really feel good about themselves right now, because they are far more technologically advanced than this group. These people were like something out of a time capsule, especially the women and young girls. Lets start with the most obvious: The Hair! Everyone of them looks like they have a croissant or bundt cake on top of their heads. Then to further make me throw up this cornucopia was accented by some of the longest horsey braids I have ever seen. Its not natural to have hair that long, unless you are trying to hold down a spot in the Guinness Book of World Record. But......I digress! Moving on to the next breathtaking view: Those darn getup's! They have little house on the Prairie Dresses and not one of them owns a pair of pants. Do they know that pants are what liberated women. Those dresses were long sleeved and cassinett material (strait out of slave days). Just stop and think about this for a minute, they are in Texas. Its a wonder they didn't faint when they were released from the compound into the burning Texas Sun. The government should definitely donate shorts and swim suits to this bunch.
Finally lets focus on the beauty part of it: Unibrow, facial hair, no make up.
1. Of all the women that they took from that ranch, did they have to interview Unibrow Eunice? Her Unibrown just irritated the mess out of me. It was messing with my mental psyche, kind of like a creepy character out of an Austin Powers movie! What lowdown, dirty, scoundrel, snake in the grass, hath lain down with this woman? He's Nasty!
2. Some of these women also had facial hair. We have come too far, and I will offer up complimentary waxing to the whole cult.
3. No make-up in 2008 is a sin. Your most natural beauty will slide on lip gloss and a little shadow or liner. Why these old, manly looking, wildebeest think they are the exception is beyond me.
The Compound
The facility where these people were staying was scary. They were staying in Dorms and eating in a Cafeteria. Its like lifelong college, except you don't graduate. There were so many bunk beds in that place it look like an orphanage. What got me is that there were some bunk beds with three tiers. That is new to me. Never seen anything like it. What's worse is the weirdo parents had the nerve to have a full size bed in the same room. Please tell me they weren't doing their yearning in front of the kids. Gross
These women have been brainwashed, and its very sad. However I am willing to bet they make a mean dinner.
1 comment:
Aw this had me crackin up. You know I had to start from the beginning. My fav is the croissant/bundt cake hairdos. Possible Halloween costume for 09?
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