When was it, that the American Public decided that it would be nice to hear a strapping lad singing in Soprano? When did that become sexy? Do you really want sweet nothings whispered in your ear, by a man with a voice 12 octaves higher than yours? Well apparently we do because we have attempted to make the following men rich.
1. Prince is the.......well...I guess you can say PRINCE of high pitchedness! Who is the King you ask? We may never know. But Prince is hands down the.......Prince of the high piercing screech. Somehow when one of his songs come on (lets say Insatiable), your body automatically goes into a time warp where there are ropes, chains, a strange mans breath beaming down your neck, and a king size bed with love ointments (waiting to be used) lying on the pillow. The next day you wake up hog tied to the shower rod, and you don't even how you got there. That ladies and gentleman is the power of Prince.
2. El Debarge where are you? I miss that little wavy haired ken doll! The last I remember hearing about El, is him getting locked up for domestic violence. 1 point for the home team. I know most people would say that is wrong, but if you are walking around getting beat up by the likes of El Debarge, you should be ashamed. Oh and step your fight club game up. If El even so much as tap danced and mistakenly stepped on my toe, I would take him out. Who is the weakling that got beat up by El? Whoever she is, should be ashamed, getting beat up by a 5'1, 115 lb., Balladeer. Magin Dat!
3. D'angelo's soprano is currently in jail or could be house arrest. Either way he hasn't really done a good job of preserving his Soprano Sexy! You know who I blame for this don't you? Angie Stone. She knew she wasn't on his level. And don't act surprised that I said it, because ya'll were thinking the same thing. Why couldn't she just go and date someone along the lines of Dave Hollister. If it wasn't for her we would have seen parts 2 & 3 of D's How does it feel trilogy. Or at least I was patiently lying in wait for part 2 & 3. However, despite all this travesty (weight gain, drugs, etc.), I still am a big fan of Lady. "I can tell their looking at us!"
4. Al B. Sure only had 15 minutes of High Pitched fame. 5 Minutes for Nite and Day (we won't discuss how he misspelled night), 5 minutes for Off on Your Own Girl, 1 minute for Rescue Me, 1 minute for Killing Me Softly, 1 minute for If I'm Not Your Lover, and finally 2 minutes for The Secret Garden. He got 2 minutes for Secret Garden because the song was hot, and he shared the stage with others, which is why he can't get full credited minutes. Al went into the Secret Garden, got lost, and never came back. Once upon a time I actually believed that Al was going to be around 4eva! But now the only remnants of him floating around are his sons Quincy (the cute cornball) and Lil B. Sure (the not so cute cornball). Although Quincy has the potential to be cool one day, that is if he takes his step daddy's money and runs! Lil B. Sure will just fade into the sunset with his dear old dad! Do you, wanna, wanna, rescue them?
5. Maxwell something about his songs just make you go into hysterics, all while washing dishes! Then the next thing you know, you are knocked up by some random fish face (catfish if you need more specifics), because you needed a quick fix, thanks to MAXWELL!
6. Bilal is just a character all together! Talented, but just strange as all hell. He has a high pitched voice and that is all I have to say about him.
7. Tevin Campbell must be making a come back because this is the second time we have used his name in our blog here at the Shiznit. Tevin was on a falsetto roll, when once upon a time (circa 1989) he was a guest star on the Arsenio Hall show, and could not deliver that sound that we had all come to know and love. Low and behold Tevin starts out in his usual aria, then somewhere in the middle his voice cracks, and he finishes the song as an Alto! Why Tevin, Why?
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