El Topoteno!

Top 10 reasons the Shiznit can't stand Sarah Palin. Ughh! I think I just puked in my mouth! No explanation needed, but I shall go on.

10. The Desperation- When America wanted to make history with a woman, they didn't want just any woman, we wanted Hillary Clinton. And you my be-speckled friend ain't her. Why John McCain, Why? You could have used your P.O.W. baby arm to pick up the phone and call on someone else. Not this nobody from Igloo-town!

9. The Pictures- If I see another photo of her posted up with a moose rifle, I am going to submit her name to the army registration people. If we are so close to victory in Iraq like she claims, let her take her hunting equipment over there and finish this war off. Go on Sarah, bust a move! She need not take another picture until she shreds that PTA gear that she has been wearing. Every suit looks as though it came from JC Penny! No tailoring, just tacky!

8. The Trash Talk- Don't start none, won't be none. I like to think of myself as the anti-fighter, but if you talk about my hero, the people's hero, you got a good old fashioned roundhouse kick to the face coming. I wish she would bring that noise to DC. I can see it now, the King Riots all over again. Martin and Rodney King riots. Just call me Bonita Butrell, "Oh Lord, Bet nobody not talk about Mr. Obama! He a good man, good man!"

7. The Wilderness- I don't know about you but I don't want anybody hanging mooseheads in the White House. It just wouldn't do anything for their interior decorating sexy! And I do mean absolutely nothing. Nor do I want her to pull out a rifle every time congress disagrees with her.

6. The Accent- Just stop and decide whether you can take hearing that voice on your tube for the next four years. I already know I can't. So do the right thing, and save the countries ears from hearing that shrill, annoying, depressing, falsetto of a voice.

5. The Baby-Daddy-in-Law- The Palin's are just going to force this relationship their daughters BD. First we find out she is knocked up, then all of a sudden they want to drop a shotgun wedding on us. Can you imagine the keg beer parties he will be throwing when they are out of town.

4. The Husband- After 20 years, he's still her guy. So! In the words of former house arrest star/rapper T.I. , "Is you happy?" You all have 5 annoying kids, you can't possibly be happy. You have a new baby, and you are old as slave cabins. Where is the happiness in that? Also you live in Alaska, it's not like he has much of a choosing to leave you for. Come to DC (land of the kinky intern), then I will be the judge of, whether or not, Scruffy the gun-toting snowmobiler is still your guy!

3. The Kids- I think we all by this time should have seen Sarah Palin's 5 year old lick her paw and rub down the little baby Palin's head fur. How nasty is that? Where did she learn that from? You guessed it........her nasty a$$ mama, who probably primps her daughters hair by taking a big wet swipe to the hand and patting it down. I bet in Alaska they learned that from a mother bear nesting her cub. That type of behavior is not acceptable in Washington, DC let alone the White House. When she learns to use hair grease instead of formula Saliva as a styling solvent then we can talk. The oldest son, looks as though after its all said and done, he is still going to vote for Barack Obama. And so will her daughters BD, who is there getting his shine on! He put on for his city!

2. The Look- If I didn't know any better I would have sworn that last weeks RNC was just an episode of SNL where Tina Fey was playing the the loser vice presidential candidate. Her resemblance to Ms. Fey is uncanny, yet she doesn't manage to sparkle and shine like the SNL'er! She is more of a Tina Fey librarian, with bad hair, tacky glasses, and ugly suits. Does this donkeyface own one nice dress?

1. The Lack- The lack thereof to be the running mate of a slim, middle aged, fly, smooth, debonair, overdue black man, named Barack Obama, means that you are not eligible to be in the White house. You are on the wrong team. The wrong team, do you hear me. Sarah Palin in an Alaskan Igloo, cool. The White House...mmm....not so much.