What do we need you for? What can you do? I can type in http://www.youtube.com/ with my pointer finger, my eyes closed, while standing on one foot in 2 seconds! People act so surprised when they are fired. You see it coming. Top 10 signs that you are about to be fired!
10. Milagros the clean up lady ask what your job entails. I know you cant possibly think she wanted to come to the USA to vacuum. She heard that there was going to be a job opening soon, and her immigration papers have just been cleared. Se tu Quiere mujere, she said she blow la la, and she my baby mama!
10. Milagros the clean up lady ask what your job entails. I know you cant possibly think she wanted to come to the USA to vacuum. She heard that there was going to be a job opening soon, and her immigration papers have just been cleared. Se tu Quiere mujere, she said she blow la la, and she my baby mama!
9. Your best buddy Lo Boogie was fired a week before. Birds of a feather, birds of a feather! In her exit interview Lo couldn't understand why she was being fired, when you are the one who takes a two hour lunch break, came in late, and left early for the past 5 years. She only knew this because you all carpooled!
8. There is some kind of celebration going on and all of the staff heard about it through the company email. All of the staff, but you that is! I know for a fact that you enjoy cake and watered down punch as much, as Dartagnan in research!
7. Someone had the audacity to park in my space. Oh but wait, that looks like Reverdy the volunteers car. I thought he usually used public transportation to get here.
6. Where on earth are all of the HR reps? Hiding from you, that's where. They know that you are about to tear the club up! So they all decided to participate in a departmental retreat at Swampy Fox Forrest. They will see you when they get back, but then again maybe not because you will be fired when they return.
5. Your usual lunch buddies decide to do lunch, without you! You have ordered the #4 from Popeye's every Tuesday since you got here with those Benedict Arnold's. Now all of a sudden they are at Red Lobster and no one even mentioned a cheddar bay biscuit.
4. You are bogged down with assignments. Face it you haven't done anything in years, the least you can do is a days worth of work. Well at least that is how your supervisor sees it. As you are typing your fingers start to hurt. Aha! Well guess what your back is going to hurt because after you've been fired, you will only be eligible for landscaping duty.
3. Your co-worker who is one paycheck away from being homeless, decided to treat you to lunch. You two never at lunch together, mostly because you can't stand to watch he/she eat whatever mayonnaise salad they have. Mayonnaise in the corner's of any mammals mouth is enough to make Biz Markie puke.
2. Your computer system is running super slow. It's not a virus, they're watching you. They know all of the sites you visit including http://www.poontang.net/. And not once did the company site ever show up in your email browser's history. Perhaps you should go look and see that your name has been removed from the staff roster under the contact us section.
1. Raynard the security was eyeballing you all week. After all of the lunch that you brought for his alcoholic a$$ and now he is looking at you like you broke into the CFO's car. Raynard always trusted you with him money to bring him back a bonafide two piece from Popeye's. Now all of a sudden he is asking La'tice, who was born to be a secretary, to bring him back a Pirate's Platter, with extra hush puppies on the side from the Shrimper.
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