Making a list, checking it twice!

Time after time, year after year, we celebrate the holidays with style and class. That is until we receive that gift, that leaves you speechless and looking from side to side as if the swat team is on your back. You can't believe that you received such nonsense from someone who should have known better. Today the Shiznit take a look at the top 10 gifts that you just don't want. The gift that your parents always said "It's the thought that counts!" But you know deep down that if THOUGHT's were a bug it would be a roach, and would be good as dead.

10. The Clapper- Clap on....Clap Off....Clap on, Clap off....The Clapper! For years I have seen these commercials, but never knew anyone who owned one of these contraptions. Can you imagine the lazy Lima bean that created this thing. You can't get up to turn off your light in your room. How lame is that? If you have one of these, next year the Shiznit will be giving you a coupon for a weekend stay at the finest nursing home on the south side of Chicago.

9. Celebrity Perfume/Cologne- This applies to all with the exception of Diddy. Not even Liz Taylor's White Diamonds are excused from this list. Just think to that glorious day, where you are ripping open your Christmas paper, and voila, there you have a supersized bottle of T-Pain Tranquil Beaches!

8. Food Baskets- You know the ones! Nasty slimy jellies/jams, salty sausages (no pun intended), and processed cheeses. Why are these things still on the market? I just knew that after 1995 those things were going to die. You know who I blame this on don't you?????? The man!

7. Avon/Mary Kay Gift products- Thanks a lot for a rash in a bottle. Just what I always wanted. Ooh and you got me the country grass scent! Smells so earthy!

6. Chia Pet- A plant shaped like a pet. Who wouldn't want that. It just screams gotta have it. I wonder what the Chia Pet fall 2009 collection will consist of. Doesn't matter because I gots to have my plant pet. It brings the chicness out in my living room.

5. Books- In hindsight it seemed like a good idea, but in reality your the only lonely Joe who has no life and mucho time to read. Nobody wants a book when you have a blog as fantasmic as the Shiz! Just a word of warning.

4. Flannel PJ's- Who thought that Flannel was the fabric that would make your nights slumber more comfortable? Who thought that Flannel should be sold in fabric stores for any kind of use? Private summers have nothing on flannel pj's.

3. Calling Card- IIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiii, am caaaaaaaalllllllllinnnnnngggggggg youuuuuuuuuu! Now this would have been a great gift like 10 years ago. Maybe even 8 years ago. But today, you are lucky if I don't reach out and smack your dumb a$$ with the heel of my boot. Maybe I can use it towards my texting on my cell phone.

2. Fruit Cake- Who decided that this would be a good dessert let alone a gift? Mushy fruit, that once baked, taste exactly like raisins. Ugghhhh! This sounds appetizing how? Can you imagine the breath of the person who just had a slice of Berneatha's fruit cake? I'm bout to puke, 'scuse me!

1. Walkman- What the "F" am I going to do with a walkman? Do you know how stupid you will look walking around with a walkman? Better question do you know anyone who still owns one, because the Shiznit is handing out vouchers for free backhand smacks to the face to anyone who owns a walkman or the even more We-tod-did Discman! If you are insistent on giving out a Walkman make sure it comes complete with a Babyface cassette tape!