Lazy Hustla

So it's that time of year when we give thanks! Most of you greedy retards will only eat until you have sugar diabetes. Have you ever stopped and consider giving a little so that some other unfortunate soul might be thankful. Of course not. Thank goodness here at the Shiznit we are givers. We have taken to helping out those in need this holiday season, and so that we don't come off as self righteous braggers, I will end it right there.

Now on to you selfish S.O.B.'s! Nothing burns me up more than that yearly request for can goods, for the needy. Why does this supposed good dead irk me so? I will give you two reasons. One people are hungry all year long, why load them up with the good stuff on the last Thursday in the month, then let them down on the last friday of the month and the days to follow. Have a heart!

Moving on to reason two, people always give away old stuff they don't want anymore. If you don't want a 5 year old bottle of brand x apple sauce, what makes you think someone else wants it. I know they are needy, but everyone has a cutoff point. Can you imagine Benji, the former janitor from Holy Cross Hospital, coming in to receive his care package, and it is loaded with year old goodies. Yummy! He can't wait to make a wish sandwich out of that moldy pumpernickle, and wait til he opens that can of two year old Corn. Surprise!!!!!!!, the corn has been in there so long, he now gets a free sip of Makers Mark Bourbon and a side of creamed corn. You little giver you, two gifts in one can.